3 More Days : Countdown To A Big Change
...and the bomb is going to explode soon !
Today, I am showered with so many good news; I believe that this is the result from believing and having faith that everything is going to be alright.
I woke up this morning with worries blossoming. No news about the result of my interview, no sales, and everything seemed stuck recently. But deep inside I am fighting with my own worries with the only weapon I have - to believe and to have faith.
Everyday, I would remind myself to do good deeds to anyone and to any creatures. When my worries had reached the peak yesterday, I decided to do more and more kindness and continue believing.
Each time I did that, I know God is watching. Silently I prayed, "I may not be pious, but I'm a kind person and I believe in only You. Please help me".
And, it happens.
FEELING 1 - Believing, and Grading Ourselves
I woke up in the morning with the worries burdening my head before checking my phone just to received a whatsapp message from my colleague, a good friend, and a business partner that a good news awaits me. Wasn't it an awesome morning ?
This good friend of mine of a different race is very good at networking. Her experience makes her a people person, an excellent communicator, and she simply has that convincing personality!
She tried to close a deal with one of her contacts which is looking forward to have a company website. As a usual practice, they required 3 quotations. She pushed me to submit one. I was supposed to submit it in the last weekend but due to series of difficulties, I failed to do so.
The first thing I asked when I met her once I reported back to work a few days ago was whether I was still 'welcomed' to submit the quotation. She definitely said 'yes'.
Deep in my heart is telling, if the project is meant for me, then it will be mine. I told exactly the same to her. And I will definitely share the income with her too.
So today, she said she has successfully convinced the client to take me because she simply likes my designs. She showed them her own website that I created for her. It seems like we got the project ! So we have sent the client the order confirmation and an invoice.
This is something that I did not expect. It is a fact that in my current job, I am required to do designs and website building and maintenance. But the reality is, I like it as a personal passion. I am not a professional. I am not 'that' IT savvy. But I do love designing and multimedia.
As for the entities of my business, I do not put graphic designs and multimedia in the profile. Simple graphic designs for events will be out sourced to my brother who is very IT savvy, or my younger sister, who is, by profession an interior designer. That's why I don't see myself 'that professional' in this area. I never looked at myself as at par with them when it comes to IT and designs.
But this friend of mine, she's different. She's seeing me as someone very creative and capable. I just told her today that I can be lame sometimes by downgrading my own capabilities. Through her, I learned that we must be very confident and believe in what we can do and offer. Since she's always besides me, I adapt her behavior by taking any opportunities that come and be confident in delivering it. In fact, when I was asked about my strength during the recent interview, I surprised myself by saying, "communication, writing, and a little bit of designing". My old self would not allow me to indicate the designing part at all !
I learnt that rezeki comes in a lot of different ways - often, unexpected ways. Who knew ? I listed weddings, events, workshops, training, secretarial, lifestyle, health and beauty as my business entities, but I got a project which doesn't fall under any of that categories.
FEELING 2 - He knows Best
My current boss has been asking if I could stay under a contract. She still need me to continue working remotely despite wherever I will be. A lot of complications came up, and the status remained unanswered.
I personally felt that it would be best if I leave for good. I am not sure myself on where would I be after I leave this job. It would be hard for me to commit to this contract.
So, being me, I leave the matter as it is. When the day arrives, I will say goodbye. At the same time, I often reminded myself that we human can only plan. I may think that this is not a good option. I do not feel that excited about staying. But, I've been telling myself that God knows better what's best for us. I totally took this matter out my brain.
Until today, the contract thingy seems confirmed. I cannot be more thankful than I should be. Firstly, because, over all of the upcoming problems, I will still have a promising income through this contract. Secondly, the feeling of appreciation by your line manager - I simply feel that I am still wanted and needed.
Thirdly, I can still be near to my colleague.
I might not like the idea about staying here, but I believe that God gives the best, and I MUST be grateful.
FEELING 3 - Honesty and Sincerity in Relationships
We had lunch together today, myself and my colleague. She's not only a colleague, but one of my closest buddies too. And now we are business partners.
A little bit of history about 'friendships' that I've been having in my life; I can say that this is one of the genuine ones. I had heartbreaks in friendships for so many times. Often, I was the one who was left. Often, I wasn't the one who left. Ironically, those incidents happened without concrete reasons (at least in my understanding). I end up having a very small circle of friends but meaningful ones.
When I first joined this department after migrating from other department, I knew this buddy of mine right before that already but were not that close. She was the one who strongly recommended me to her boss. Through the 'warm-up' sessions, we found that we have a lot of similarities. We share the same star sign, interests, and our mind and thoughts often sync.
She's from a different race, which people often downgrade. While I have so many bad experience with friends with the same race, I don't see why one would believe that a friendship is measured by a race ! I always know that I click well with other races. So I stick to that.
Through out this friendship, we've been there for each other and holding to the right principles about friendships. We always reminded each other not to fight !
So this afternoon, we had a meaningful conversation. She expressed on how worried she is after I leave. She's scared that we will grow apart, especially if I get a job with a company which is more Islamic. She's seeing it as a gap if she ever want to come near me. She's also not sure where will I be, whether I will still be staying in the same town with her.
I wittily answered, "Convert to Islam !". We laughed.
So I shared with her that we just need to be ourselves, like now. The key is honesty. Let's continue to be honest to one another especially when we are doing business together. Let's be transparent. Let's not listen to other people. The same when I received comments about being a close friend to someone from her race, she also received the same. But we both stick to what we believe in.
I also told her that if I am meant to stay in the same town, and if I ever get the job in the Islamic company, let's make it a habit to set a day or two to sit together and work on our business together. Let's go out for movies once a week.
More or less, that was what we talked about.
Somehow, I feel so touched. I take her as a younger sister. I've been very genuine and sincere towards her, and so does she. I never thought that this friendship means a lot to her, despite the fact that she has her own best friends.
Once, she mentioned that I was her pillar. Once, I told her that there are reasons that God set on why I chose to be transferred to her department. I found her and learned a lot of things. We found each other. We motivate each other. We love each other. We opened up each other's eyes. One day when I am down, she would pick me up. One day when she drops, I would offer my hand too.
The key is still HONESTY and SINCERITY.
If we have these both, not a single relationship in the world could be ruined.
