Little Things, Big Impact
"Everything starts from home".
Exactly. My mother often tell me this, and I have to agree. Growing up under her "supervision", I could see myself inheriting similar elements that she planted in us, her children.
However, for some reasons, things do not work out as planned for some parents. That 'everything' which started from home seemed blocked by the children's brain. Eventually, when they grow up, they adopt other elements, and then be adapted to it. It's the surrounding, the people, and influence.
I never blame the parents (the good parents who have great elements that start from home). Even the society should never mirror the problematic children to their parents. To me, it is simply about life and the world that we are living in, especially the world that is fast pacing.
Parents' responsibilities in adapting to the technology and the fast pacing world, as well as bridging the generation gap would have to come in a separate topic.
Most importantly for now, how one HANDLE and BE RESPONSIBLE on how and what she or he wants to become - it is this entry's topic.
************
I believe that, other than everything that my mom taught me (despite the facts that I was once the 'black sheep' in the family), I grew up by observing and learning. The older we get, no one can help to change us other than ourselves. I believe in practicing things until it becomes a habit.
Here's my formula :
When I grew up to a matured age, I realized that everything must begin from me. No one else, but Me.
Once I realized that, I have the desire to change, be a better person, and correct my mistakes. My pasts had mistakes and errors which I never want to repeat. That is the life cycle. You learn from your mistakes, and then you become more cautious and more protective over yourself. That's how maturity grows. The important rule here is whether you WANT to change, or whether you are FORCED to change.
Base on my personal experience, I've met 5 types of people where change is concerned :
People who know that they need to change, and willingly want to change.
People who know that they need to change, but egoistic stops them from changing.
People who know that they need to change, but has no will to do it on their own.
People who know that they need to change, but not ready to change (for some reasons).
People who do not know that they need to change (ignorant).
Sit and think for awhile. Which category are you in ?
Naturally, when I have desires to change, I attract more things that would help me change. I would bumped into positive and inspiring people. I would suddenly have interests towards motivational books. I would suddenly be more sensitive towards other people's feelings. I would suddenly be interested in watching inspiring movies. I would suddenly label a successful person as my idol. Et cetera - the list goes on.
Naturally, when you are so interested into something, you would want to become that 'thing' or 'person'. You would learn how to become what you want to become. It is equivalent of having a loving, caring and supportive partner - you would be very energized in doing things together. It's like that.
The next step is making a practice as a habit. This is the challenge. Well, I procrastinate things too. I have days where I simply want to lay down on my bed and do nothing. I have days where I experience a "short circuit" in my brain.
These are the challenges that we need to overcome and fight in order to form habits. Experts say that it takes 21 days to form a habit. There are hypotheses and debates, of course. However, I personally feel that WE DO NOT NEED TO COUNT THE DAYS. Why one would want to count how many days good deeds need to be done ? It's infinity. It has no limitations.
How I do it is by not stressing myself by being committed to the calendar. I have it in my mind that I need to do 'this and that' before I go to bed, after I wake up and in the morning, et cetera.
After forming habits, I would make it a habit to share with others. Blogging? FB status? Tweeter? Verbally? Anything that makes you comfortable. Speak only good things. Speak only about how beautiful life is.
************
The idea of this writing is not only giving you the brief idea on how to change. It's easier said than done - I know it better.
The idea is on how to make it easy.
As of my title, Little Things, Big Impacts.
Let's not look far away. Let's first change the little bits of that areas that you want to change. These little acts seem nothing, but it works in a chain effect. It will affect you, your closed ones, and the list goes on - you never know to whom these effects would reach.
Only when you change the little bits (mainly attitudes), you will naturally be able to make bigger changes.
Here are my daily habits that I've been practicing for quite some time. And you know what ? I did received good things in return. And I definitely feel better, as these little changes make me a better person who is always ready for bigger changes in life :
Say THANK YOU
Say Thank you and be grateful for every little things that you receive. Someone spent you meals ? Someone delivered you greeting cards ? Someone complimented you for your beautiful dress today ? Do not forget to say Thank You and be grateful.
COMPLIMENT
Compliment people sincerely. If today your colleague is wearing a beautiful dress, do not keep it in your heart. Express it. She will thank you, and the good vibes spread. If your husband suddenly feel so hardworking in cleaning the house today, compliment him on how great his job was. He would feel delighted - there goes the love and the good vibes.
SMILE
Smile to whomever you meet. Give salam, if you are a Muslim.
I know one janitor in my office (a Bangladeshi guy) who never failed to give Salam to each of every Muslim staff who pass him by. I feel delighted each time he greeted me. And I always remember him for this practice. I would always get myself ready whenever I'm about to pass him by. I would get ready with a smile and sincere return of Salam too.
Say Hello and smile. You never know if that could make someone's day.
HELP PEOPLE
Help people - including sedekah. I am very sure that all of my Muslim sisters and brothers know how powerful sedekah is. Helps have no measurement.
I remember, once when I was a singer, I had to perform for a group of Eurasians crowd. When I reached the front door of the venue while carrying my heavy book stand, there was a car stopped right at the center. An old man came out slowly, catching strength with his walking stick. I stopped at the car door, opened it for him and let him out and then went in the building first. From his smile, I could tell that he was very happy. Soon during the gatherings, one of the committee members told me proudly, "You know, that guy, he keeps on telling everybody how kind and sweet the singer is for opening the door for him !" I made his day, and he made mine.
LOOK AND REMEMBER AT ONLY THE GOOD THINGS
We encounter difficult people everyday. I have people that I so-called dislike too. But I have learned to look and remember at only good things.
A drug addict is wrong and helpless because he takes drugs. But if he is a good son to the parents, and a helpful person to others, nothing can change the fact. No one should punish him because of one single mistake over his other good deeds.
Remember a story back in Prophet (S.A.W) time? Muslims know this better. A Muslim prostitute provided a dog water using her high heels. Allah (S.W.T) forgave all of her sins and placed her in Heave.
Isn't that the greatest example ?
BE WELCOMING
For some reasons, people tend to push away good deeds. When someone offers to buy meals - there are some who refused. When someone invites to gatherings - there are some who choose to 'hibernate'. Be welcoming towards good things is an act of gratitude. The more you welcome, the more you will get. Would He give us more if we refuse to accept small things that come our way ?
DO NOT BE JUDGEMENTAL
There are always reasons behind things that happened. We never know if one is struggling financially. We never know if one's car broke down thus the delay in reaching the appointment. What is behind the story is not important. The important thing is to prevent ourselves from being judgemental - and guess what ? It's good for our health !
************
You are so much welcome to continue this list for your own needs.
